From the detective who found the Golden State Killer, a memoir of investigating America’s toughest cold cases and the rewards—and toll—of a life solving crime.
Description
I order another bourbon, neat. This is the drink that will flip the switch. I don’t even know how I got here, to this place, to this point. Something is happening to me lately. I’m drinking too much. My sheets are soaking wet when I wake up from nightmares of decaying corpses. I order another drink and swig it, trying to forget about the latest case I can’t shake.
Crime solving for me is more complex than the challenge of the hunt, or the process of piecing together a scientific puzzle. The thought of good people suffering drives me, for better or worse, to the point of obsession.
People always ask how I am able to detach from the horrors of my work. Part of it is an innate capacity to compartmentalize; the rest is experience and exposure, and I’ve had plenty of both. But I have always taken pride in the fact that I can keep my feelings locked up to get the job done. It’s only been recently that it feels like all that suppressed darkness is beginning to seep out.
When I look back at my long career, there is a lot I am proud of. I have caught some of the most notorious killers of the twenty-first century and brought justice and closure for their victims and families. I want to tell you about a lifetime solving these cold cases, from Laci Peterson to Jaycee Dugard to the Pittsburg homicides to, yes, my twenty-year-long hunt for the Golden State Killer.
But a deeper question eats at me as I ask myself, at what cost? I have sacrificed relationships, joy—even fatherhood—because the pursuit of evil always came first. Did I make the right choice? It’s something I grapple with every day. Yet as I stand in the spot where a young girl took her last breath, as I look into the eyes of her family, I know that, for me, there has never been a choice. “I don’t know if I can solve your case,” I whisper. “But I promise I will do my best.”
It is a promise I know I can keep.
- Rating: ☆☆☆☆☆
- Authors: Paul Holes with Robin Gaby Fisher
- Genre: Memoir
- Length: 288 pages, hardcover
- Publisher: Celadon Books
- Release Date: 04/26/2022
Praise
“True-crime superstar Holes takes readers on a gripping journey into the mind of a cold-case detective…a thoughtful yet fast-paced and absorbing amalgamation of personal memoir and true-crime novel. Crime junkies and nonfiction fans will clamor to get their hands on this book. ”BOOKLIST
My Thoughts
I was ecstatic to receive an advanced reading copy from Celadon Books. My husband and I watch true crime cases, cold cases, and everything else on TV that’s related to solving crimes. We are both fascinated by analytical minds that are able to follow leads and clues that many might not see.
So when I received this special memoir and details about well-known cases and how they were solved, it made my day.
At an early age, while watching the TV show Quincy, Holes knew that solving crimes was something he was fascinated by. From that point on, we read about his climb to a noted cold case investigator.
He presents his life both inside and outside his profession in an open, honest way. How would I know it’s honest? Probably because he doesn’t just present his perfect self, but he’s quick to disclose his shortcomings as well.
He has never been able to completely rid his mind of cases. It’s all personal to him, and he wants the victims’ loved ones to have closure. Of course, this spills over to his family life.
As I’ve said, the story isn’t whitewashed, family or crime-wise. It’s crime, after all. It’s not just based on the criminal investigation, but for the investigation to mean much we are taken through all the details of the murder(s). So be aware that this may not be your cup of tea. Monsters can commit grisly crimes.
It’s very informative, from his family life, the crime scenes, and the steps involved in trying to solve the cases. If you read or watch TV regarding cold cases, you will no doubt love this.
My Concerns
This story is told through the eyes of a cold case investigator. You will see the case in detail through sometimes hard to deal with scenes. I’m sure he is able to focus more on the solving part than the grisly part, at least to a degree, but it can be difficult to read.
So be forewarned. There will be some scenes that you might want to skim over and zero in on the solutions to the crimes.
Final Thoughts
What makes this a five-star book? It’s not just about the crimes and solving them, it is a memoir co-authored with New York Times bestselling author Robin Gaby Fisher. This emotionally-driven story shares how Hole’s time working in Contra Costa County in the San Francisco Bay Area works for him and against him. It’s definitely a different memoir than I’ve read before. I loved the weaving together of his personal and work life.
If you like true crimes, cold cases, investigative work, law enforcement, etc. I would definitely invite you to either preorder this or add it to your list of to-be-read books.
My thanks to Celadon Books for an ARC copy. My thoughts were not influenced by the this gift.
About the Author
Paul Holes retired as a Cold Case Investigator after spending over 27 years working for the Sheriff and District Attorney’s Offices during his tenure in Contra Costa County located in the Bay Area, California. Having experience in both forensic and investigative assignments, Holes specialized in cold case and serial predator crimes, developing and applying investigative, behavioral, and forensic expertise in notable cases such as Golden State Killer, and Jaycee Dugard. Holes is frequently sought out by investigators to consult on the most complex and high profile cases and has played a part in putting several serial predators on Death Row such as Darryl Kemp, Joseph Naso, and Joseph Cordova Jr.
As an FBI Task Force Officer while employed with the DA’s Office, Holes teamed up with FBI and Sacramento DA personnel to apply innovative technology that identified Joseph DeAngelo as the Golden State Killer, the most prolific and cunning serial predator in U.S. history.
Since the arrest of DeAngelo, Holes has been very involved on the media side, continuing to assist law enforcement and victim’s families with their unsolved cases through the television shows The DNA of Murder with Paul Holes and America’s Most Wanted, and with the podcast Jensen & Holes: The Murder Squad.
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This sounds like a fascinating book!
It definitely is covered well.